Summer break.

I could vividly remember, during my days of mugging for the exams, that I mentally listed down a list of to-do which I want to complete after exams. Now that I am having the time of my life, waking up everyday feeling “freelance”, it dawned on me that I do not have enough time on hand to tick off my to-do list.

DWZ production is happening in less that a month’s time. Practices are getting strenuous and tense. Almost everyday, this club of dancers works on perfecting their moves, if not making props out of (really) limited resources. All these hard work behind the scene are carried out on a daily basis, all day, everyday. 

I am really proud to be part of this production. It has always been a dream to join a dance production and I am truly glad cos this year I will be crossing this off my bucket list. This week is especially busy cos I am dancing everyday (except Thurs, but I guess I will still self-practice at home). I am home late every single night and I will sleep into the day time and wake up at almost noon. This has been a subconscious routine and I am slowly draining out. Last Sunday I fell ill and had a complete loss of voice. My vocal was so terrible even I feel awful and sorry for myself. I had to work that day. The worst part was that we were short of staff on that fateful day and I had to brace myself to be the cashier (we talk a lot). Work ended at 1 AM, a 1.5 hour extension from our supposed clock out time. Well I am just glad that it was over.

Having a wee bit of time to press my thoughts. Combined rehearsal at 7 PM…. 6 more hours to go!

Ciao!

Torn.

I am feeling so awful now for flying my friends’ kite. Bursting their bubbles time and again. I really dont wish for this to happen. I dont know why i am always torn between dance and others.

Who can I tell? Everyone is gng to tell me I deserve it. I guess i really do deserve it.

But i dont need a second reminder.

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Improvement(?)

Today a fellow dance mate told us we have improved a whole lot. It cheers us up a little but we all know he was just being kind and encouraging. We know we have so much more to improve on. And we will all work hard towards that common goal 🙂

Pdt is in a month’s time! We are slowly getting there. Anticipating more busy days spent on practises and I cant wait to spend all my time dancing!

In other news, I heard frm a fellow dance mate that results would be out on 13th Aug. I am so stoked! First uni results release afterall. I hope I do well with all the efforts I’ve placed. Those midnights spent mugging, silently crying, head banging, choreographing key points into dance moves, pushing buttons of the calculators vigorously, the mental burden of memorised notes, the mental burden of risking in un-memorised notes….and then some. I am slowly getting there.

Cos You told me this, slow never fails to arrive.

And I always believe 🙂

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After dance.

I am ultimately disappointed with myself today. It has been 1.5 months of practices and my standard is not up there yet. More than disappointed, I am equally afraid. Afraid to disappoint the audiences; afraid to be labelled “stagnant” by fellow dance mates; afraid of going out of breathe on stage; afraid of not executing well and bringing shame to my choreographer. Afraid, afraid….

I really wna put up a good show for friends who would be coming to support. I wna be as good as S and C, two of the best dancers in the club. I wna execute to my best and give the production my ALL. I want to be able to breathe properly. Most importantly, I want to PERFORM; I want to BE SEEN.

It really doesnt bother me whether or not I’m the limelight. I just want to be noticed, just like how every other dancer would want to. This has been in my bucketlist for way too long. Im giving up a lot for this production, just hoping for one thing in return.

A chance, to shine.

Time to work a lot harder, Yoyo!

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POST BDAY.

Finally I have joined the 21’s club yesterday! Um, I guess this year’s bday was the most extensive and expensive of all. The celebrations went on for over a week and there is one more left with OSG, a belated one cos of my busy weekly evening schedules. I feel so blessed and loved. And I know YOU sent me these. Thank YOU, once again 🙂