Third.

Starting the third week of school with smidgen revision before tuesday’s class, due to time constraint (tuition in two hours’ plus late dinner’s menu not yet carried out in my head). Mandatory shot of my notes to prove that I have been reading:

Anyways I would like to add-on that Sir Harris’ notes gave me a sense of assurance for May’s paper. It doesn’t assure first class honours, but at least it safe guards the first 40 marks to cover my backside. I may be slower and less econs-intelligent, but like I said slow never fails to arrive.

Baby steps, Yoyo, baby steps.

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That shit moment….

When you accidentally took home yr student’s brand new stationery. TGIF. Well, at least Monday is not too late to return.

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Have you ever….

I feel like i need a breather. I was given months to make a decision. Now im left with less than 24 hours and i still cant seem to make up my mind. All the uncertainties…. The hands of doubt strangles me and i really feel so suffocated. It got so bad recently that just by thinking abt it gives me physical headache. Oh why….

What would you do if y’re in my shoes?

There arent many choices i can make. In fact there’re only two. Yes or No. I feel like i could tell no one at all. Im sure there will be ears willing to listen and mouths ever ready to advice me. It’s also not due to the fact that i do not want to say. It’s just….even i do not know what i want. I still waver on the decision my subconcious mind made. I wasn’t firm.

I wasn’t ready.

How exactly can i go abt asking for advices when i know that whatever comes next, i will still be left alone with the same choices to make; the same dilemma; the same doubt; the same thought process that i couldn’t yet get out of. And the same ringing uncertainty.

Just what am i so afraid of?

Who can help me?

Am i ready? I’ve asked myself repeatedly for umpteen times. What is ready? How do i know if im ready? And….

Do I really WANT this?

I guess i do want it afterall, but i get so afraid. Im only human. Humans get scared. It’s nature. Im so troubled!! If only this wasn’t happening on me, i could readily give advice to the hypothetical friend to just go for it. Unfortunately, i must go thru this. I feel uneasy… And I think i know why.

Im about to step out of my comfort zone.

Imagine Madagascar the movie. Im just like Marty who always wanted to get out there. What im lacking of, is the courage to take the first step. I even doubt myself if i can make it out there. Can i still survive after being judged? I need reassurance that the world will not crash after i made the decision. I know it wouldn’t. Nonetheless, everything’s easier said than done.

Tough battle of the mind… I wonder if anyone feels the same tonight. 

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A week before school commences!

This week has been slow and fast at the same time. Dance stuff has finally wrapped up for the time being and I am contemplating whether to join the advance cycle. Sch is finally starting next week and I cant wait! Even though I have two more years to go…..due to my poor results last sem…. but it’s okay because i believe that guess slow never fails to arrive!!